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What do M&MCs have to do with family law? Nothing yet...although given the utility & purpose M&MCs in the medical field, I propose family law could experience similar benefits. For over a century, the medical profession has been using Morbidity and Mortality Conferences (MMCs) as opportunities to identify errors and recommend modifications through in-depth discussions and evaluations of cases and their outcomes (Welton, Ashai, Virgo & Nahhas, 2021) . To my knowledge, family l

Separation doesn't silence abuse; it just changes its tune. Logic would dictate that once a person leaves an abusive situation, they would be free from abuse. Sadly, studies show that in 40-80% of cases abuse continues post-separation and often escalates ( Spearman, Hardesty & Campbell, 2022 ). Post-separation abuse is coercive and controlling behavior that persists after separation with the intent to gain, regain or maintain control over an ex-partner. This behavior often in

Remember when you were a kid and you had to share with a sibling or a friend? Kneeling down so you to make sure you both have the exact same amount in each cup. Splitting everything down the middle so ‘everyone would be happy’? Was anyone really happy? Compromise is the easy way, not the fair way or the best way. We do it because we want to avoid confrontation, avoid hearing NO and to avoid a fight. Our brains and bodies are trained to go towards safety and move away from pai

In my previous post I discussed the importance of determining what matters most to your ex and what drives your ex’s behavior and decisions. This is only step one, step two is demonstrating that you understand what is important to your ex, in order to gain your ex’s trust. In his book, Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It© Chris Voss talks about the concept of Tactical Empathy and how it is a crucial element in successful negotiations. Let’

I learned a new term recently which explains why I struggle with certain decision making and excel at others. It’s called ADHD paralysis and it’s very similar to what many of my clients experience when in the midst of a divorce . This paralysis traps a person between “there is so much information to consider” and “I can’t make up my mind”. This can result in procrastination, avoidance and sometimes complete decision paralysis which renders one unable to act on any decision u