Step-Parents & Grandparents:
What are your roles?
How can you help?-
Step - Parents
"You're not my Mom/Dad."
"You can't tell me what to do"
"I don't have to listen to you!"
"I already have a Mom/Dad!"
"I hate it that everyone thinks that your my Mom/Dad."
"I wish Mom & Dad were still together"
Step-parents typically find it difficult to balance their desire to be involved in their step-kids' lives & the fear of over-stepping their bounds.
It's tricky to know how to show love for your step-kids without acting like you're trying to replace their Mom/Dad.
Some days you will wonder why you even bother because every time you do something it blows up in your face.
Some days you will feel very alone, even if you are surrounded by your spouse & your step-kids.
Being caught in the middle is not a fun place to be...just ask the kids.
Being a loving, supportive and engaged step-parent takes
patience, understanding, transparent communication & most of all a strong sense of who this is really about...the kids.
Knowing when to get involved, when to say something & when to just be a fixture in the room is a skill that needs to be practiced.
Step-parenting often gets a bad rap but when it's done right, it can make all the difference in a kid's life...there can never be too many loving people in a child's life.
Step-parenting should be a wonderful experience for you, your spouse and your step-kids.
Working with Trish you will learn about the:
common pitfalls & mistake step-parents make
how you can support your spouse (the parent of your step-kids)
how to discuss sticky parenting issues with your spouse
common scenarios that come up in blended families
how to handle these scenarios, sometimes with grace & humor.
joys of step-parenthood
How can we help our child & grandchildren through the divorce?"
"I don't agree with how my son/daughter is handling the divorce. Should I say something ?
"My ex daughter-in-law wants us to convince our son to pay more child support. We don't think its' our place to get involved.
What should we do?"
"My ex son-in-law is trying to prevent us from seeing our grandkids. Do we have any legal rights as grandparents?
Being a grandparent is one of the greatest joys in the world...
All the fun without all the responsibility.
But before you worry about how to support your grandkids, don't forget that you are still a parent & your child needs you now more than ever.
It can be difficult to determine how to help, what to say and how to be supportive without being over bearing.
The tough part is your son/daughter may not know how you can help so it may be up to you to figure it out.
Now back to your role as a grandparent...
Do you act as like nothing is happening so your grandkids can forget about the divorce for a little while?
Will that make them feel like they can't talk about it with you?
Do you talk to your grandkids about the divorce?
Will that make them feel like they have nowhere to go when they want to forget about the divorce for a little while?
You may find yourself struggling with feelings of anger, guilt, shame, regret, & grief but you must remember your still a parent & you shouldn't be burdening your kids with your worries.
It isn't your child's job to be your shoulder to cry on. Your child must protect their own children from the stress of divorce, the last thing they need is to have to protect you too.
Juggling your roles can seem daunting, especially when you've never done this before.
But thankfully, Trish can guide you through the trials & tribulations of supporting your children & grandchildren through a divorce.