Protect Your Children from Divorce Conflict
1. Be the Safe Parent
Children need at least one steadfast, unconditional, safe parent
2. Trust Yourself
Develop confidence that will help you to stop questioning your parenting or become passive
3. Take Emotional Responsibility
Develop healthy coping strategies and avoid using your children as an emotional crutch
4. Maintain Your
Make the decisions that are best for your children and avoid leaving it up to 3rd parties (judges, lawyers, and mediators)
Mitigate Conflict to Protect Your Children
Learn techniques to de-escalate the conflict.
Protect your child from exposure to conflict.
Prevent giving your ex any ammunition to use against you.
Be the Safe Parent
Research indicates that as long as children have at least one parent who provides a stable, loving, safe environment, the child has a better chance of recovering from the divorce.
Three factors that will impact your child's well-being during and after your divorce are:
1. Conflict: the intensity and the duration.
2. Quality of Parenting over time.
3. Quality of the Parent-Child relationship.
Mitigating your child's exposure to conflict, providing your child with loving and unconditional support and maintaining a strong parent-child bond will allow your child to focus on their one and only job...which is just to be a kid.
Trish can help you navigate your emotions and guide you through the turmoil of parenting during and after divorce.
Trish can also educate you on some of the common parenting issues and dilemmas you will encounter and how to handle them.
Above all else, it is imperative we all do whatever possible to protect our children from harm.
Have you heard the expression, "Walk in the room like you own the place"?
This is what you need to do when you are parenting in a family of divorce.
Not only will you doubt your own parenting skills but others will too.
Expect your ex-spouse to criticize, judge, doubt and undermine your parenting skills too.
Your child needs you to be in control and be their rock.
Children crave stability and consistency and that is the type of parenting you need to provide.
Trish can teach what to do when:
your child says "Daddy/Mommy let's us stay up late" or "Daddy/Mommy lets us stay home by ourselves."
your child doesn't want to go to the other parent's house.
your child tells you that Daddy/Mommy is saying bad things about you.
Your child needs you to be the adult and Trish can establish security with your parental decisions and the values you are trying to instill in your children.
Take Emotional Responsiblity
One of the most damaging things a parent can do is use their child as an emotional support and make them privy to adult issues.
Parents have a duty to develop healthy coping strategies and acquire appropriate support so they don't rely on their child for emotional support.
Trish will help you become mindful of the coping behaviors you exhibit because your children are watching.
Children learn how to handle conflict from you, so be a responsible teacher.
Trish can help you:
Tell your child you are getting a divorce in an age appropriate way.
Exhibit healthy coping strategies and ensure your child knows it is not their job to be your emotional support.
Make it safe for your child to tell you about their feelings without fear of upsetting you.
Maintain Your Agency
When you decide to become parents, you sign on to be fully responsible for your child, to guide and protect your child, and to make decisions for your child.
In divorced families, it's common for conflict to get in the way of parents focusing on making decisions that are best for their children.
Instead of being in the business of raising a child,
divorced parents often focus more on being right than being a parent.
Unless you relish having a 3rd party (judge, parent coordinator) make important decisions for your child and your family, it is imperative you learn how to act in the best interests of your child.
I can't think of anything more troubling than allowing a stranger to make decisions that will affect my child in the long term.
As a parent it is crucial to do what it takes to ensure you are healthy enough to be the decision maker for your child instead of having to relegate decision making authority to a 3rd party.
But this isn't easy to do especially when dealing with a difficult ex.
Trish can help you stay firm with your boundaries and develop emotional regulation so you don't become influenced or as traumatized by the actions of your ex.